Rituals of Connection
I learned something new this week…and I love when that happens. Who knew there was actually a name for something Aaron and I have been practicing for years? It’s called Rituals of Connection.
This week, I was sitting with two colleagues Michael and Katie Morales in my VIDA Coworking space. They are married. Katie and I started talking about their ritual around the Tour De France. She shared that when she first met Michael, he was already a huge fan. Over the years, it became something they looked forward to together, and now she says it doesn’t even feel like July until they begin watching it.
So I asked Michael, who is a marriage counselor, “Are there any studies that show couples have stronger marriages when they intentionally nurture a shared interest like this?” He smiled and introduced me to the phrase “Rituals of Connection”.
Aaron Cohen and I have been married for over 30 years, and somehow we’d never heard of this before. But as we talked that evening, we realized just how many rituals we’ve created over the years. From the phrase he says every time I leave the house, “Be careful, Precious Cargo”, to sharing tea, movie nights, date nights, our bedtime routine, and saying goodnight. It was all there, the sweet and cherished rituals of connection we have created over the years.
Over my years as a speaker, I love sharing something I learn that I especially think could be helpful to others. Especially in our stressed out, exhausted world, I think rituals of connection with your loved ones could be a really important and beneficial to nurture.
The Gottman Institute, who coined this phrase, suggests three simple daily practices:
• Create a habit of reunion every day.
• Set aside two minutes of undistracted communication every day.
• Practice an appreciation ritual every day.
I love knowing there was a name for something we’ve been doing all along.
What Rituals of Connection do you have with the people you love?
