Death ends a life, not a relationship.

If you don’t know my work or how I became the Kindness Catalyst, here’s a little of that story.

My father and I had a challenging relationship. When I learned he was dying of lung cancer in 2006, I was 38 and still felt like I was 16 in his eyes. We healed our relationship prior to his death. I performed 1000 mitzvahs (act of kindness) to honor him.

That became a blog, then a book, then a TEDx talk… and eventually the work I do today as a professional speaker.

Ironically, one of the things my dad didn’t like about me was how much I talked. (He called it “verbal diarrhea.”) If only he’d pointed me toward this career earlier… it might have saved a few years on the journey.

Here’s what I know for sure today, on what would have been his 90th birth week:

💜 Grief can soften as time passes.

🩷 Your loved one still can be called on for guidance and support.

💚 If you inherit their hair… embrace it. (Trust me on this one.)

💛 There will be things you wish you could still say. And YOU CAN whether on paper, in your thoughts, in your heart.

🧡 You don’t have to go it alone. If you are grieving, find a community (perhaps faith based or secular) to help support your process. There are so many more resources now than there were 20 years ago. If you haven’t listened to Anderson Cooper’s podcast All There Is, definitely check it out.

❤️ Everyone has their own unique grief journey.

Grief is part of life. One of my hospice clients once said Americans are a “death-denying society,” and that has stayed with me.

So thanks, Dad, for the hair I’ve learned to love, the gift of gab that lets me tell stories, and the work I do today… work I believe you’d be really proud of.

I love you.